This post contains the preface, introduction and the first chapter of my book. This is my life story, as told by me and written by Darice Cairns.
Preface
Stories of strength and perseverance have always inspired me. I love stories that describe the defining moments in someone’s life, moments when an individual must overcome difficult situations and make harsh life-changing decisions. These types of circumstances show us who we truly are. Your reaction to the most challenging moments in your life says a lot about you. Do such moments break or liberate you? Yet, the quiet, non-eventful periods speak volumes about us, as well.
Life is made up of flat, humdrum stretches interspersed with some pretty spectacular moments. Life becomes spectacular when you look deeply and consciously into it. That is when those moments can awaken a deep truth about yourself and the world you constantly create around you. When we awaken to the power of living consciously, “circumstances” become “choices” that we actively make. That truth invites us to know who we are at a deeper level and the invitation is always there to go deeper. How deep will you allow yourself to go?
Your life story is a testimony to the enduring strength of your spirit and soul. In the many life stories I have read and heard over the years, there is an underlying common thread of determination that drives people beyond their limitations. I have also noticed that many of us are driven by a desire to be free and at peace with ourselves. Some say that freedom is the key to happiness, but I think happiness is the key to freedom. Yet, many of us are not happy, nor are we free. The reality is that few of us will ever be truly free until we pass physically from this world, and to pursue happiness is a path fraught with yet more challenges. So, our world is full of contradictions and we often just say we want things, without knowing deeply what that means.
One truth I have learned in life is that nothing about living is easy, and life isn’t meant to satisfy us—instead, life is meant to challenge us. The challenge is to be spiritually awake while living one’s life with purpose and presence that is not motivated by individual material gain. Understanding this truth has effectively halted my pursuit of happiness, for life is so much more than that. Beyond what we see within ourselves is a whole world welcoming us to a collective common good where there is no separation between ourselves and others. We have far more in common with each other than we think or may have thought. Hence, our world is full of truths based on our thoughts, but is that the real truth? I think not. When we choose to wake up, it is a most uncomfortable journey—yet that is the only way, the only path, to changing our lives, relationships and our world for the better.
The story you are about to read is that of one man's journey to find truth and peace through the trials and tribulations of his life. It also includes stories of the many clients he worked with over the years as a stylist in a hair salon. Making sense of our circumstances can be a great preoccupation for the mind as we try to understand our lives. Our memories and the stories we tell ourselves are what we ponder as we slow down or approach our final years. Deciphering fact from fiction is a great challenge—but when we realize there is nothing to prove anymore, we stop making things more than they are and we can then become more at peace with what is. There is irrefutable beauty in finding our truth and in connecting with the profound, simple things in life.
This is a powerful real-life story about one man’s courageous journey toward his truth, through war and peace, hardship and strength, and injustice and love. It is a story that highlights how all of our life stories are similar in the lessons that they teach us. In the end, we realize that all those events that happened to us are significant and will likely never happen again. They are unique and so we must cherish the moments we had—in addition to the ones we are presently having.
As you grow older in years, memories will marinate in your mind, tossing and turning a million times over. A life lived with courage will challenge your truth, push the boundaries of who you are and push you to question why you are here. At some stage in life, you will reach a point where memories will subside and your truth will no longer be able to hide. You will know that this life is not just about you but about all the people who have touched your life. May that moment show you your courage and allow your heart to sing and your soul to breathe deeply. In the end, when you focus peacefully within, you will know that is all you need.
Introduction
My name is Behzad, my middle name is Ali, but everyone calls me Micco. It is with great pleasure that I share with you my story and a collection of stories from the many conversations I have had with a wide variety of colourful clients over the years. I always like to think that our life is in our hands, but I have learned that in reality, this is not true. My clients’ lives were often shaped by circumstances outside of their control. Cancer, the loss of a loved one, financial strain and family hardships are just a few examples of how fate can rip you out of the driver’s seat when it comes to how you live your life.
In my own life, powers beyond my control have decided much of my fate. When Ayatollah Khomeini took power in Iran, the fate of my country was changed overnight and forever. I never stop praying or hoping that there will be an unprecedented change in the world while I am still alive—a change that will bring about the long-awaited freedom of the Iranian people. I still long to return to Iran, even for a moment, to touch the soil, breathe in the air and see my family, wherever they may be if they are even still there. At this time, all I can do is hope and pray.
When I left Iran as a young man, I never thought about where I would be in my old age. I assumed I would be able to live out my days in Iran. I also assumed that the government would have fallen apart or been taken over by now. Assumptions are dangerous because we believe in them, yet they rarely, if ever, come true. Ironically, I left Iran desperate to get out and now all I want to do is return. Life is filled with funny twists and turns, and hard realities come to light when assumptions are blown away.
I stand here now, at this point in my life, feeling somewhat lost and bewildered at all the dreams I had that never came true. Yet I have been blessed with so many other opportunities that I never knew were possible. So, where something is lost, something else is gained. Is that not the truth in life for all of us?
Many Iranians who left Iran for political reasons are to this day still exiled from their country. I pray that the door that separates me from Iran will open one day, and I have hope that my country will never again be in the hands of a fascist and religious government. I can never forgive the superpowers who radically altered my country, the government and everyone’s lives in the worst possible way. Iran was once the jewel of the Middle East, a cultural hub of sophistication, culture, language and poetry— the land where a visitor was considered a gift from God. Now Iran receives no visitors, and she sits grossly twisted, decaying spiritually in a dark, heavy shadow.
When I lived in Iran, life was vibrant under our king, and the Iranian people had a good reputation all over the world. Now, we are often mistaken for being Arabic or fanatic Muslims. In reality, Iranians are Persian and they speak Farsi. Before the regime came to Iran, it was a richly multicultural country with a blend of religions that included Christianity, Judaism, Bahaism, Zoroastrianism and Islam. Everyone lived together peacefully.
There is nothing more unjust than knowing that people outside of your homeland believe you are something you are not. For one thing, most Iranian people do not represent their government and do not support the Islamic Republic of Iran or the “regime.” People easily accept misconceptions that pit them against others. In reality, there are few differences between people, even among those living in different parts of the world. Unfortunately, we live in a world fixated on highlighting differences rather than similarities. These perceived differences have divided us all and made us forget that we are all, in fact, part of a larger, common whole called “human beings.”
My life story begins with my family's escape from Iran during the revolution in 1978. Deciding to leave Iran with my young family was dangerous and fraught with struggle. There was never an option to return or go back; once we left it was a one-way journey. Finding freedom in a new country came with considerable risk, but it was a risk I was willing to take.
Whatever I did in my life, whether it was working as a young entrepreneur, cutting hair, writing poetry or sewing clothes in Tehran, or working in the top hair salons in Toronto, I always did everything with passion and to the best of my ability. My life has been a journey of ups and downs, laughter and tears, heartbreak and love. I now fill my days with memories from my youthful days in Tehran and the events of a long and meaningful career as a stylist and businessman. This history makes me laugh as much as it makes me cry. My life story is enriched by the stories of my clients who I have connected with over the years. As they say, “Every stylist has a million stories to keep." Nothing could be more accurate!
One thing I have learned in life is that everyone has a story to tell and we must all strive to accept and love life for what it is. Through other people's stories, we can see that there is connection and peace in recognizing our commonalities rather than our differences. Let the things that are common amongst us be our connection and guiding strength in times of difficulty.
None of us are unique in the grand scheme of things. There is nothing that separates us from each other except the false belief that we are separate. Regardless, I have always been made acutely aware of the fact that I am different, and therefore separate from the whole as an immigrant in Canada. My differences, like anyone else's differences, are not celebrated with joy, but rather, they are scrutinized as something to be dealt with and even feared.
In Canada, the original people are the First Nations people. I have connected most deeply with these people over the years. They have stories that would break the hardest of hearts. The First Nations people have stories full of pain, hardship and resilience endured from the first day that the white man landed in the Americas. Through all of their hardships of living as a minority in a dominant culture, Indigenous Canadians stand as a reminder to us all that systematic and cultural genocide breaks everyone's spirit. What we do to others, we do to ourselves.
What is happening in Iran, with the loss of freedom for the people, is also happening in Canada with its native people, and it is happening to the African-American people in the US. All over the world, we fight over differences and celebrate winning and being better than others. Yet we should be celebrating our differences and stopping the destructive ideology of “winning” that fuels the subsequent rise of separation between people. Living peacefully together will never be achieved if we continue to compete and believe false truths. Unfortunately, we have all participated in creating a crazy, imbalanced world that thrives on lies and hides the truth. We must all take responsibility for that.
The more people I meet and the more stories I hear, I realize we are all immigrants in one form or another. What an irony! Most of us have come to Canada from somewhere else. Throughout our history, we have waged wars against each other because of perceived differences, which are the biggest, most damaging misconception in the world. As we see our world attitude shift in profound ways, the old beliefs of “divide, conquer and control” must change. The disempowering impact that this ideology has on the majority of the working class and less privileged people is staggering. For real change to occur on Earth, we need to change our attitudes and perceptions. The change must, however, come from within. I see this inner change ripple through my own life. Yet, I watch in amazement the extent to which the world’s superpowers will go to control the world and the people for their own benefit.
I have heard hundreds maybe even thousands of stories in my time. We are all human, and so there is much we can learn from each other's experiences. I dedicate my story to anyone who has had to leave their homeland and settle in another country. To anyone who has ever felt the sting of not being accepted simply because they are different. And to everyone, I hope these stories will humble you and help you to connect to your truth, whatever that may be for you.
Behzad
PART I
Leaving Iran
Chapter 1. The Mullahs Are Coming
When I was a teenager, I believed I was invincible. Like most teenagers, I saw my future in front of me and it was bright. I thought I had the world in my hands. I grew up in a large family and drove all the families in our neighbourhood crazy. Families complained to my father and mother about Ali, the “troublemaker.” I was always teasing their daughters and pissing off their sons. Many of the boys on my street were envious because I never had a problem speaking to girls. In fact, some of my best friends were girls.
I was the second oldest son in a string of six boys with one older sister. My father was a well-respected non-uniform military man and my most trusted mentor. His words of wisdom continue to give me comfort and guidance to this day. He was always a strong comforting presence in my life. Dear Father, may you forever rest in peace.
I had many small businesses in the streets of Tehran when I was growing up—an entrepreneur from the very start. I loved creating or refurbishing things to sell. Wheeling and dealing ran in my blood from the time I was a young boy to the time I closed my salon some fifty years later. For example, during the school summer holiday, I opened a small shop on the corner of the street, reselling vegetables that I had bought from the market. I also opened a small store selling sandwiches and expanded my early business ventures to buying and selling old cars. I even worked as a tailor alongside a man who taught me how to sew like a professional.
When you finish Grade 9 in Iran, you start college. I studied architecture and building for three years. After this, I attended the mandatory two-year military service for. Iran was a beautiful, free and prosperous country under the power of King Pahlavi. Everything changed when Iran was taken over by Khomeini. This new dictator had no mercy toward anyone. I was one of the millions of young people who lost all their hope and dreams when this new government invaded our land. Almost immediately, we felt the adverse effects of a cold and heartless regime. Unemployment grew, especially among young people, while freedom of speech and the sharing of ideas gradually started to fade.
Furthermore, knowing that this new regime was forced upon us by some of the world’s biggest superpowers—such as France, Britain and, in particular, the US president at the time, Jimmy Carter—all added salt to the wound. During these turbulent times, I was in and out of jail for challenging the regime, as I was very vocal about it. Life became increasingly miserable not only for me, but also for so many other Iranians.
Before this regime came, there were bars and restaurants beside the mosques. People could choose if they wanted to go to the mosque or drink in the bar. There was no loudspeaker calling out for prayer five times a day. Those speakers were there, but they sat quietly collecting dust. Everyone was free to have any religion or belief they wanted. My father was Muslim and yet didn't force us to pray or read the Quran or follow any other doctrine. Your belief was in your own heart, and that was generally the way throughout Iran.
Before the Iranian revolution in 1979, the mullahs had no power in the government, and they quietly existed within—even on the fringe of—Iranian culture. After the revolution, the mullahs gained full control all over Iran. They became the new government with the arrival of Khomeini. With new rules established, everyone had to go to the mosque to pray. If you didn’t support the regime or didn't go to the mosque, you were not allowed to receive benefits, such as a good job or even food. Life became tough for you if you didn't accept the new government. After the mullahs came, my life became more dangerous since I was never going to adapt to their ideas and doctrine.
With the mullahs securely in power, life rolled on. A war in Iraq was initiated, diverting Iranians’ focus to issues outside of the country. The mullahs promised everything would be better after the war. Meanwhile, thousands of imprisoned young people were killed by order of the Khomeini. Iranians were not allowed to watch foreign TV, and at that time, there was no internet. Today there is internet in Iran but it is controlled by the government, as is all social media, as well as your phone line, and everything is under watch by the regime. Back then, if you got caught drinking alcohol, they whipped you in public, and they encouraged strangers, friends and even families to report on each other. People didn't trust their own brother!
As you read this, it is evident to the world now what kind of regime ruled in Iran. For those of us who lived through the change, it was a living hell to go from living freely in a modern and progressive city like Tehran to having it all taken away so suddenly. I witnessed my country dissolve before my eyes, and this oppression continues to this day.
-if you would like to read the entire book please click the link, The Art of Finding Truth, by Behzad Ghashghaee...
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